If your goal is to lose a website visitor, you are in luck! Losing a visitor is much easier and faster than actually keeping the visitor there for any length of time, or getting the visitor to return in the future. Using the following five steps, you can become an expert at losing website visitors in no time.

Step 1 - Make sure that the page loads really slow. Visitors really hate that. They get impatient and hit the back button or close their browser all together. This can be easily achieved by loading the page up with large image files. It doesn’t matter what the images are, as long as they are large and there are a lot of them. The visitor will never see them.

Step 2 - If you get one of those pesky patient visitors who actually stick around while the page loads, have the page automatically start playing music or other irritating sound effects. Make sure that they don’t have anyway to stop the music! You can also try blinding the visitor by using blinking text and really loud, obnoxious colors.

Step 3 - In case your visitor is patient and likes the music and doesn’t mind being blinded, make sure that there is no real content on your site. Fill it up with advertisements or something. Just be careful not to add any valuable content. This should get rid of them.

Step 4 - If your pesky visitor is patient, a music lover, has no interest in real content, and is still able to see, make it impossible for this pest to get around your site. Make sure it is disorganized. Make the links hard to find. Use misleading descriptions for your links as well. Just in case they do figure out where your links are, and where the links will take them, fool them by having many missing pages on the site so that they get those irritating “Page Not Found” errors.

Step 5 - Wow, if your visitor is still there to experience step five, you’ve got a real problem visitor on your hands. Don’t lose hope! You won’t make that sale! It’s time to play rough. Your final trick is to run scripts on your site that cause the visitors machine to lock up. The script should be so bad that simply closing the browser won’t fix the problem on the visitors end. They should have to reboot their machine - it’s the price they have to pay for sticking around your site too long! Even if the visitor is rude enough to reboot their machine, get back to your site, wait for the page to load, and be blinded again - step five will get them everytime!

Author - Kevin Robb

Kevin Robb - Editor of the “eBF-News” A Free Private Members Newsletter that reveals 25 years of Online and Offline marketing experience. If you are results driven and have a passion to succeed on the Internet then the eBF-News will assist in your development.